Shades of grey

Just when i finished typing an uber long post, and highlighting the entire thing to change the font size, the whole post goes poof! Arghhhh...why did it have to happen?? Anyway, here goes my 2nd attempt. Hopefully there's still a small fragment of recollection. Blogging is such an ass whenever this happens. Urgh.

Okay, so I haven't been blogging for a while and honestly, i do not know what to blog / post about. My life? My daily routine? It all seems too mundane and boring to read or post about. Sometimes, when i'm inspired to write of a certain subject, the words don't come easy. Either that, or i get distracted and lazy. or the whole post goes poof, again! Anyway, enough of nonsensical ramblings.

The past 2 weeks have been a rather contemplative period for me. Sometime early April, i got called for an interview by an established pharmaceutical GLC. Personally, i believe interviews are good experiences which enable one to learn more of his/herself as well as build the necessary skills needed. So i went for the interview, with no expectations whatsoever, but for the experience sake. It was my personal challenge to see how far or well i could go. About a week later, i got a call. I was elated to know that i passed the interview.

So, the next stage was to meet with the Deputy GM (DGM). An appointment was made, but unfortunately, Mr. DGM fell sick and the meeting had to be postponed to the following week. But what followed next was an entire week of silence from the other party. I spent days contemplating if i should initiate contact, or just wait patiently, as they say it is a virtue to be patient. I decided to wait. Told myself, if they really decided to change their decision, there's nothing much i can do anyway. I tried to stop thinking about it.

Then came the following week, this week, and on the busiest day of the week, i get a suprising call. I was not forgotten. An appointment was made and i went for the meeting; again, with no expectations whatsoever. I found out that out of the many interviewed, only 3 were shortlisted, including myself. Great news! There's 2 vacancy, and currently, 1 is confirmed/filled. Well, to cut the long story short, and leave out all the tiny bitsy details of the meeting, the summary is: the job is really mine for the taking if i want it. Yes, i survived the interview. Thanks be to God, for providing me with this opportunity and seeing me through it. :)

ps: Mind you, it feels like a great accomplishment, considering that the Senior Manager, who interviewed me the first time around and whom i spoke to briefly before the meeting with Mr.DGM told me that his interview with Mr.DGM before joining the company was by far his hardest interview.

But here comes the dilemma. Because it is a GLC, there are certain policies and salary schemes which they need to adhere to, which in simple terms means that they can't pay me as much as what i'm currently getting.
BUT the exposure and experience they have to offer is definitely more and higher.

So many questions fill my mind..

"Am i willing to take up this job which offers a lower pay, but will incur more expenses on my side as i may need to move out and rent a place since it's situated all the way in Klang?
Am i working for the money or the knowledge and experience? Should the pay even be an issue?
Am i willing to lose the current work environment i'm in which God has so amazingly blessed me with; the friendly colleagues, and the many other things or gadgets that come along with it?
Am i willing to trade it all for another working experience altogether which may have issues like office politics considering it's such a large corporation?"
and many more....

It all sums down to one point.
Am i willing to take the risk? or am i being too impulsive by taking this risk?

I've spoken and shared with a couple of people and so far, the advices i have been getting are 50:50. Even my own thoughts are 50:50. Next best thing to do, is to consult my family, and see what they think about it. (time to call for another family meeting! hehe)

To those who read my blog,
well, if you want to help me out with this dilemma of mine, by offering some wise insights of yours, please do drop me a comment. I'd appreciate it cos i really need all the help i can get. There are many points to consider but i believe this new job offer will give me the career growth i need. It is also what i've envisioned myself doing, to be part of a department which is literally the think tank of the company! But much is also at stake. This is going to be a life changing decision.. a crossroad in my life.

I believe that God has placed me in my current company for a reason. There must be something that He wants me to do, or to learn. And i pray that with time, i will come to learn and discover what His will for me is. Hearing Him is still something i struggle with but i will not lose hope. I believe God opens up opportunities for us, but ultimately, it is our decision to make; and whether we make them wisely or not. That being said, i also think that not all opportunities are meant to be taken. Some say you should grab every opportunity that comes knocking but should u really do that? I honestly don't know. I wish life wasn't in shades of grey.



Cheers,
miss allylicious.

Easter

Redemption. Salvation. The Cross.

Such abounding grace and great love that He should die in exchange for us... for me.

Thank you, Jesus.

" O Lord You've searched me

You know my way

Even when I fail You

I know You love me.

You made a way

When You said that it is done."

F.E.A.R

Ever since Jan 2009, i've wanted to go to certain places within Malaysia, and Bukit Tabur was one of the places i intended to go in my "to-do" list. However, as days draw closer to the weekend of which i am supposed to go hiking at Bukit Tabur, i can feel the insides of my stomach churning, and my heart is so not at peace, with daunting thoughts and images floating around in my head.

About a week ago, 2 experienced hikers who are doctors by profession fell to their death while hiking at Bukit Tabur. And before this case, there has been numerous cases of accidents and fatalities. However, on a positive note, there are also those who managed and succeeded the climb. Nonetheless, everyone offers the same advice. The Bukit Tabur hike is NOT to be taken lightly. No matter what happens, NEVER let go off the rope.

I'm really having second thoughts about this hike. I don't think i'm physically and emotionally fit to endure whatever lies ahead in this challenge. I know i have a weak upper body strength, and that worries me to the core! How on earth will i manage climbing steep and rocky mountain ridges and vertical drops? Compared to all my previous "adventures", I've never experienced such uneasiness before. Arghhhh!!

The view is going to be awesome. The experience, definitely worthwhile. BUT, the risk, is terribly daunting! I need this excapade, yet..it gives me more stress than it should.

Should i go for it? Or should i trust my instincts which tell me not to go?

urrghhh. i don't know.

O ye of little faith... (speaking to myself)

Say No To EMO