Thursday, November 17, 2011

The SCUBA Attempt

On 10-11-2011, Ally attempted to discover what scuba diving is all about. *pats self on the back*

There's not much to say, really. It was a short course, only 1.5 hours.
Learnt how to clear the goggles underwater, how to use the regulator, and most importantly, how to retrieve the regulator in the event it comes off underwater. Also did a lap in the full gear. 1 lap! Too little, i must say. Went for the course alone, was scared shit. Glad it went alright though and even made some new friends. Felt some tightness in chest when breathing using the regulator. Thought I was the only one feeling that way, but turns out, the other 2 girls I made friends with also felt the same way!

Conclusion?
- Maybe scuba diving not really my thing. I don't think my chest can take it, considering my asthma problem.
- The adrenaline rush of being out of my comfort zone is crazy. But it is at times like this that I learn to have more faith in my capabilities.

Fear is always holding me back. But i'm glad that this time, I did not let fear win.

Found this composition on Google. Author unknown but these are wise words indeed.

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. When you dare to face the things that scare you, you open the door to freedom and success.

Most of your obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them or procrastinating about dealing with them, you make up your mind to walk boldly through them.

Don't be afraid to take the steps you need to take to make those positive changes in your life. To fight your fears, you must act. Your fears increase when you wait, put off, or postpone. If you understood your situation enough, you would never be afraid.

The attainment of your dreams is but a determined action away. Successful people take action."

How inspirational. :)

Now, to end this post with a really uncomplimentary picture of me. :p



Cheers!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Surrender All


You are my Savior I owe everything to
Take all I am, Lord and all that I cling to
Take all the treasures that lie in my storehouse
They cannot follow when I enter Your house

So I...surrender all to You
I...surrender all

Take all my cravings for vain recognition
fleshly indulgence and worldly ambition
I want so much Lord, to make you my focus
To serve You in secret, and never be noticed

Take all my hunger, for all that's forbidden
Every desire, and sin I keep hidden
Search me and know me, I want to bring to You
a life that is holy, and sanctified thru You...

Surrender All - Rich Dalmas

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Missions

A greatly inspiring video of Mr. Narayanan Krishnan.

I love how he aptly states the core message of this video.

"What is the ultimate purpose of life?
It's to give. Start giving. See the joy of giving."
"Food is one part, love is another part. So the food will give them physical nutrition. The love and affection which you show, will give them mental nutrition."

I hope this video will stir many hearts and ignite the passion for missions within them.

There's no greater joy and satisfaction in the world than knowing that we are able to make a meaningful difference in the life of others, to be a vehicle of blessing to others.


Can't embed the video. But to view it, here's the link.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Finding the good in hatred

Knowing that you're hated is definitely not a good feeling.
But reading these few quotes from Forbes Asia, being hated doesn't seem like such a bad thing anymore. Hahaha. Here's why.

Hatreds generally spring from fear or envy. - Machiavelli
( You hate me because you fear/envy me. It's comforting to know that at least I have something worth being envious about! :) )

To be loved is fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction. - Minna Antrim
( To be hated is a sign that there's something distinctive about me! :) )

Hating makes the hater hateful. - Malcolm Forbes
( I think this is rather self explanatory :) )

WOW, WHAT OPTIMISM!

So.....I went googling more Haters quote! Here's more good ones to share!

If you don't like me, remember, it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

Haters only hate the things that they can't get and the people they can't be.

Love me or hate me, either way, i'm on your mind.

:)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Epic blonde moments


Blonde moment #1 :

On June 4, 2011, while on the MRT heading back to Hougang.

Ally : Ninda, check out that girl. She reminds me of the Ice Queen.
Ninda : Ice Queen?! Huh?
Ally : The Ice Queen, from Narnia. Don't you know that movie? It's so famous!
Ninda : Ice Queen? You mean White Witch?
Ally : Oh yeah! That's the name...White Witch...
Ninda : Aiyoh...Ally!

(I said Ice Queen because I remembered her ice castle and how "cold" she was so my brains automatically processed the name as Ice Queen.)


Blonde moment #2 :

On June 6, 2011, while chatting with Sam on Skype.

Sam : I am x-men
Ally : I am cloud
Sam : Huh? Is there such a character?
Ally : There was a girl called Cloud right? She controls the weather.
Sam : OH MY GOSH
U R SOOOOOO BLONDE
its STORM
aiyooo what would you do without me?
Ally : Oh yeah! That's the right name. Rings a bell now. -_-'''

(I remembered she controlled the weather, and scenes of the clouds turning grey from one of the earlier X-Men movie came to mind. Again, my brain processed the image and automatically processed the name as Cloud.)

Seems like I've been rather blonde lately.
=p

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Systems and processes are created for a reason. That there may be an order to the way things are done. And if everyone follows this order in the right manner, life would be so much better; increased efficiency, zero confusion, added value, thereby improving customer satisfaction.

When I was dropping Sam off at Puduraya the other day, I was so cheesed off with what I observed and experienced first hand from some of the bus operators and drivers from K*nsorti*m. Mind you, K*nsorti*m is one of the major provider in this field!

The Puduraya bus terminal has undergone a massive facelift and it seems to be quite a good progress or improvement from the past. Bus schedules of all the different bus operators and the different destinations bound are listed on screen, implemented to the likes of LCCT and KLIA. The huge, clean, comfortable, air-conditioned waiting area and automated sliding doors to the boarding area was pretty impressive honestly!

So 15 minutes before Sam's bus was due to depart, we both went down to the boarding area to look for the designated bus as projected on the screen earlier. It says P19 (Platform 19) , PFT 6688. When we got down, the specified bus was not at sight. A different one was. So naturally, passengers began asking the Konsortium staff if this is the bus. That fella confidently said "No, this is not the bus. Go to the double decker bus outside of the Puduraya Terminal. That's the bus to your location." Since he said it with such confidence, and considering that he is a Konsortium staff, of course people would take his word for it. So everyone went out of the platform area to the double decker buses waiting just outside of Puduraya. Upon getting there, the bus clearly stated "To Kamunting". Ok, i'm starting to get a weird feeling about this. And so i told Sam something isn't right. Cause it just doesn't feel right. His bus was suppose to depart at 5.00pm. But we've been standing around the area till 5.20pm and the bus driver was making no attempts to even start the engine! So we walked a little further and say 2 Konsortium guys in uniform and decided to ask them. (Again, because they wore the uniform, they would be considered a reliable source for information). We told him the entire situation, saying that we're suppose to board PFT 6688 bound for Penang according to the screen but we were directed here. Is this the bus? How come it's different? That dude said "Oh, memang macam itu. Tak boleh ikut skrin punya. Sistem itu untuk tunjuk saja." So i asked him back. "Kalau tak boleh ikut skrin, kenapa ada sistem canggih macam ini tapi tak ikut?" He replied "Biasalah".

His explanation still left me feeling very unsettled, and very worried, considering what happened int he recent Cameron Highlands bus crash and also because I didn't want Sam missing his bus back due to boarding the wrong bus. Anyway, because parking in Puduraya was so expensive, I had to rush to quickly exit the parking, before they charge me an additional RM2.80 for exceeding the hour by 5 mins. Despite the paranoia and skepticism, I had to leave with faith that he will be alright, and so will the bus be. After I left, thankfully Sam decided to clarify with another guy sitting around nearby who seemed like the bus driver and guess what? The driver said "No, this bus does not go to Penang." Sam quickly ran into the platform in Puduraya, where the bus was designated to be initially, and guess what again! PFT 6688 was there this time. The system works! The buses do follow this system!

Now, why do we deserve to be angry? Here's why. Despite procedures and processes being established for the improvement of current operations, some people and companies are just plain lazy to follow, for plain dumb reasons - the typical too-complacent-to-change syndrome. And it was thanks to these kind of people, that got us (and probably many many more) misled to think that the new system is a flop, as expected of many government projects. They do not realize that a possible consequence to their foolish action and mindset is the real hindrance of EFFECTIVE operational progress and improvement.

It is also thanks to people like these that the country can't develop as progressively as it should. And this applies to work as well! In every corporation/SME, there will be people like these. And as long as they are not made (be it forced or gently) to change, they will continue to be like this, continue to affect others to being like them too, and therefore, keep this undesirable attitude in existence, which slowly mutates into a culture, carried on from one generation to another.

The core change that needs to be done is not so much of the operating system - it is the MINDSET of the "operators".

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The fragility of friendship

As I was driving to work today, flashbacks of certain incidents at work came to mind. And it left me feeling really antsy when I entered the office this morning.

A colleague whom I thought was a friend, has been backstabbing me behind my back, somewhat "educating" a new staff that joined and even other colleagues of all the "privileges" I get at work, of how presumably I may have an affair with the boss, how terrible my attitude is, how bossy I am, and the list goes on and on and on. Mind you, she was of a different company (a sister company), under a completely different payroll, different reporting authorities and completely different job-scopes! For her to be making such accusations from the sideline, to the extent of degrading my morality, and spreading it around to the entire office is just way out of line. Though sad that our so-called friendship has taken this turn, I'm glad she left the company. But the pain and scar of her sting remains, even till this very day.

What saddens me is that it made me realize how fragile our friendship was. How fragile friendships can generally be. How this world is a stage and everyone is playing out their roles, putting on a facade, a mask! Despite the many times she was being insensitive, hurling blunt and sarcastic comments at me, lashing out her tantrums and mood-swings at me, I took it all in and tolerated because that was the right thing to do. At least it felt right at that point of time, but in hindsight now, I realized I should have done something about it. I should have defended myself. I should have made her realize on those instances how crudely insensitive she was being. I should have stood up against the status quo. But I didn't. My fear held me back. Why? Because I didn't want to start a war and cause more damage.

That being said, I have to admit, I am not one who just forgives and forgets. Albeit it being an undesirable trait, it is the epitome of human frailty. And that's what i am, merely human..and an imperfect one..

So here I am, feeling betrayed, feeling the need to have closure, to confront her for her actions because someone needs to stand up to her, wake her up from that delusional mindset she has that everyone else is problematic except her, and tell her the consequences of telling tales (not facts) of someone else can be THAT detrimental and how it is absolutely wrong! Coming in to the office day by day, seeing the very same faces of those who were accomplices to some extent, though not necessarily in the same capacity, just keeps reminding me of this emotional baggage I carry. I wish i could cut the weight loose, but doing so, might come with consequences. And i'm not sure if i can deal with the consequences. Sigh.

This is one of the reasons I do not enjoy work as much anymore. I believe people are a very important aspect to any organization. Having a balanced dynamics is a crucial factor to a company's well-being and success and in some significant way, employee performance and passion as well.
But here I am, stuck in this rut, where I have learnt the hard way that no one can ever be trusted, and how, in the midst of their insecurities, people will just find a way to attack because in their minds, I am the cause of their insecurity. Yet another lesson I've learnt. Not to let people read your emotions easily or tell them how you feel because even the slightest, most innocent of comments, somehow, Colleague A will tell Colleague B and colleague B, being the insecure person he is, will act out of emotions and do things that will disrupt whatever dynamics/trust/respect there is left in the relationship.

So here I am, frustrated and feeling the desperate need to do devotion this morning, and guess what? God's timing is ever as perfect again! I logged into www.ymiblogging.org , my regular devotion site, and the devotion of the day from ODB reads "The Benefit of the Doubt". A very common phrase used in legal matters. And it talks about how perhaps, we as Christians, can apply this legalistic term into our daily relationships as well. Quoted here, an excerpt of the passage.

love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Leon Morris, in the Tyndale New Testament Commentaries, says this about the phrase “believes all things”: “To see the best in others . . . . This does not mean that love is gullible, but that it does not think the worst (as is the way of the world). It retains its faith. Love is not deceived . . . but it is always ready to give the benefit of the doubt.”

When we hear something negative about others or we’re suspicious about the motive for their actions, let’s stop before we judge their intentions as wrong or bad. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. — Anne Cetas

This passage is indicating to me what I should do. Some sort of divine intervention perhaps.
But these are the battling, counter-offering thoughts in my head instead.
How do you expect me to see the best in others when they keep seeing the worst in me?
How do you expect me to give others the benefit of the doubt, when they don't give me the benefit of the doubt?
How do I love my enemy?
How do I love a friend who betrays/betrayed me?

In reading, the teachings of the Bible seem so simplistic sometimes , but in reality, I think they are far beyond simple. They are challenging and complicating, and not easily done! Oh how I fall short of the glory of God.

This unresolved feelings or thoughts will always be my dirty laundry.
If only cleaning "it" was literally as simple as taking "it" to the laundry. If only the act and consequence is as simple.

Sad to say, I think I'm one step further from believing or placing any hope in friendships. Why believe in something so fragile, so insecure? Why open up your vulnerable heart to trust only to gain disappointment and heartaches in the end? Why believe that friendships can last when people can change so easily? How can a genuine friendship exist when people are so ingenuine by nature?


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Dance! Swing!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Kpop


My latest project. :)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

ENFJ

Did one of those personality tests mid last year @ www.mypersonality.info and my personality type turned out to be ENFJ.

Did another personality test today @ www.humanmetrics.com, just to test the consistencies of these "what-is-your-personality?" websites and guess what? Same answer! ENFJ. Hmm, i'm starting to think that perhaps the questions were the same. I don't really remember.

Anyway, it is ALWAYS interesting to read about these kinda stuff. It makes one more reflective and inquisitive somehow. You start asking yourself questions like "Am i really like that?" and then you get into the contemplative mode and most often, you end up agreeing to what was read. And, if you're the curious (or should i say "kepo") and need affirmation type, you'd start reading about the personalities of compatible partners, suitable types of careers based on your personality and etc.

Yes, that's me. Guilty, as charged.

Well, for one, i'm glad i don't have a shifting personality.
Note to self: Maybe i should try the test again when i'm at a different life stage. Married / with kids. The anxiety of wondering if the outcome would the same should be interesting.

And ahhh, this blog needs updating!
Brilliant idea to upload the traits of my personality here, for easy reference IN THE FUTURE.


ENFJ
- IDEALIST ; The Teacher ; The Mentor


(According to http://keirsey.com/4temps/teacher.asp)

Even more than the other Idealists,
Teachers have a natural talent for leading students or trainees toward learning, or as Idealists like to think of it, they are capable of calling forth each learner's potentials. Teachers (around two percent of the population) are able - effortlessly, it seems, and almost endlessly-to dream up fascinating learning activities for their students to engage in. In some Teachers, this ability to fire the imagination can amount to a kind of genius which other types find hard to emulate. But perhaps their greatest strength lies in their belief in their students. Teachers look for the best in their students, and communicate clearly that each one has untold potential, and this confidence can inspire their students to grow and develop more than they ever thought possible.

In whatever field they choose, Teachers consider people their highest priority, and they instinctively communicate personal concern and a willingness to become involved. Warmly outgoing, and perhaps the most expressive of all the types, Teachers are remarkably good with language, especially when communicating in speech, face to face. And they do not hesitate to speak out and let their feelings be known. Bubbling with enthusiasm, Teachers will voice their passions with dramatic flourish, and can, with practice, become charismatic public speakers. This verbal ability gives Teachers a good deal of influence in groups, and they are often asked to take a leadership role.

Teachers like things settled and organized, and will schedule their work hours and social engagements well ahead of time -- and they are absolutely trustworthy in honoring these commitments. Valuing as they do interpersonal cooperation and harmonious relations, Teachers are extraordinarily tolerant of others, are easy to get along with, and are usually popular wherever they are.

Teachers are highly sensitive to others, which is to say their intuition tends to be well developed. Certainly their insight into themselves and others is unparalleled. Without a doubt, they know what is going on inside themselves, and they can read other people with uncanny accuracy. Teachers also identify with others quite easily, and will actually find themselves picking up the characteristics, emotions and beliefs of those around them. Because they slip almost unconsciously into other people's skin in this way, Teachers feel closely connected with those around them, and thus show a sincere interest in the joys and problems of their employees, colleagues, students, clients, and loved ones.


Dealing with Stress from Work: Idealists Out of Balance

How do you deal with work-related stress? Each personality type has different stressors and copes in different ways. Better understanding of your own stressors and coping mechanisms can help you reduce the tension and anxiety work stress often creates.

Since Idealists tend to work for a better future for all, if things keep going badly and they lose hope they become stressed. When Idealists experience great stress, they can have muscle or sensory problems.

The Teacher is likely to become stressed if they experience an absence of trust and too much pressure to conform. They also dislike interpersonal conflict. If this happens, they may become excessively critical, which is antithetical to their normal positive self. One of the signs that the Teacher is in high stress is muscle tics or cramps. To recover, this normally social type must be left alone. Solitude and journal writing can help them get back to normal. Also getting out of the current arena of conflict and taking on a new project can restore their sense of self. Says Josephina, "My old boss and I worked like a charm. I had plenty of freedom and a crew to lead. Then she retired and my new boss was quite different. She wanted to inspect everything I did and insisted upon her way of doing everything. Some of her ideas were good, but others didn't work at all. She wouldn't listen to me. I got a tic in my right eye and had problems sleeping because of restless leg syndrome which I'd never had before. Something had to change. Then I heard about a special project which needed a new team and I applied. I'm now on the team, my tic and restless leg syndrome is gone. I never realized before how much I needed to be trusted and free to exchange ideas on improving things."


Women and Romance
Part 3: Idealist Women
By Dr. Lovegood

Idealist women tend to be very romantic. They love to give and receive tokens of affection, such as an original poem, a hand carved box, or an item which reminds them of some shared experience. Men often appreciate their compassion and empathy along with their belief in others. When dating, they hope they'll get to know each other through deep conversation.


So far, mostly true. :)


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Canonica Ixusia

My spanking new baby :)
(Bought : 8 January 2011)

Have always wanted to get my own camera for quite some time now, but the need for it was "expedited" due to the upcoming business trip to the States and the desperate need for a camera as mom would be needing the family-owned camera.
Definitely contemplated to get a semi-pro camera, like the Canon Powershot S95 or G12 as it would only cost a couple of hundreds more (like +500-1000) but as this year is foreseen to be a year with a lot of spending, I decided to just stick with the most economical and less time-consuming option - a point and shoot camera. I hope she proves to be a worthy investment and companion on this trip. Got to thank Tina and Josh for accompanying me to Low Yat and giving much insightful opinions.

On a side note...
It was 4 months ago when we planned for the technical conferences and exhibitions. And now, 4 months is up, and i'll be leaving this weekend. How fast time flies indeed. It is definitely going to be an intimidating yet interesting trip, as I'd be travelling with the Managing Director (my boss) and 2 Directors. Though we're all colleagues, yet the ranks do intimidate. I just hope i live up to the expectations the bosses have of me and return from the trip with loads of good ideas and inspirations that would help generate returns for the company in some way. I know i've been really fortunate to be given this opportunity and priviledge that no others have, and I hope it reminds me to be thankful of this blessing God has poured out for me.

There's loads to prepare and pack and the pressure of everything is just overwhelming.
Reminders to self:
- Be humble!
- Make the best of the opportunity!
- Make life count!
- Take great photos! And lots of them!
- Step out of the box and comfort zone!
- Be courageous!
- Be sociable!
- Don't whine and complain!
- Get phone card to call home! and call home every night!
And....
- Don't flirt! ;)

Ahhhh, the anxiety is building up! Better get back to work ...