Missions

A greatly inspiring video of Mr. Narayanan Krishnan.

I love how he aptly states the core message of this video.

"What is the ultimate purpose of life?
It's to give. Start giving. See the joy of giving."
"Food is one part, love is another part. So the food will give them physical nutrition. The love and affection which you show, will give them mental nutrition."

I hope this video will stir many hearts and ignite the passion for missions within them.

There's no greater joy and satisfaction in the world than knowing that we are able to make a meaningful difference in the life of others, to be a vehicle of blessing to others.

Can't embed the video. But to view it, here's the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S74HuDIRa4&feature=player_embedded

God speaks

God speaks, indeed.

Day before yesterday, I was emotionally distressed with a certain group of people. Their selfish act filled me with so much anger and hatred, to the extent of causing me to really consider transferring. It was such a pain to the soul and a struggle to brush the emotions away.

I met up with Mee Gee later that day for dinner and shared with her my story. And surprisingly, she's been through a similar situation as well. And she understands why I acted the way I did. Because, it's human nature. I shared with Sam when I was driving on my way home and when I got home, I shared with Mom too. So, point is, I was greatly affected by what happened that I couldn't stop thinking about it and felt the need to vent so much. When I got to bed that night, I don't remember spending time praying about it. It was probably a super short prayer and then I fell asleep.

2 days later, which is today, I'm sitting here in my office, and there's this innate inclination to just spend time in devotion, before starting any work. And so I did. The devotion message was so timely and apt, and it spoke of what I was going through.. literally.

Here's what it says.

*****

We’re tempted to fixate on all kinds of things: our image, another person’s opinion of us, our success or our failures. When things go poorly for us (bad health news or relational disappointments or financial woes), we search everywhere and look to anyone in a failing attempt to figure out how to change our situation. We try very hard to save ourselves.

The psalmist knew serious trouble. He spoke of violent men who were hunting him down, “snarling like vicious dogs” (Psalm 59:6). Their assaults were not merely physical: “Their words cut like swords,” he wrote (v.7). Do you feel as if someone is after you or as if some circumstance has consumed you? Are you experiencing a relationship that’s painful, that cuts to your soul?

Rather than working frantically to find your own remedy (which never ultimately works), Scripture invites you to turn to God, knowing that He’s the only One who can rescue you. The psalmist encourages us to quiet our heart, turn fully to God, and proclaim, “I watch for You” (v.9 NIV). We don’t watch for ourselves or our friend or our spouse. Our true help doesn’t come from these sources. We watch for God. —Winn Collier

*****

Reflecting back, that was exactly what I did. Turn to everyone/anyone available and share my problems with them, hoping they'd give me a good advice or suggest a way out, that would help make me feel better. I TRIED SO HARD TO SAVE MYSELF, WITH MY OWN FINITE MEANS AND STRENGTH.

But as usual, to no avail.

I know what I needed to do, to be still, quiet and commit the entire situation into God's hands, yet, at that moment, I allowed the circumstance to consume me, to cloud my judgment and affect my actions. I just couldn't get out. I just couldn't be still.

And here's what another devotion I read said, doubly affirming what God wants me to know and do.

*******

He promised, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you” (John 14:27). He told us to turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, forgive offenses, reject greed, tolerate each other’s weaknesses, live to serve and love one another as He has loved us. It seems that in large part, peace is up to us. Paul verifies that in Romans 12:18, “As much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” This Christmas, let’s make peace our gift to the world in which we live as we reflect the Prince of Peace.- Joe Stowell

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. —John 14:27

*******

Living in peace with others is not an easy task and it's easier said or read than done. But I will try.

An experience worth remembering

A month ago, Joshua (Sam's brother) asked if I could help out with his church wedding decoration because the person who was suppose to do it, well, couldn't do it. So as terrifying and desperate as the request sounded, I was actually jumping for joy within because I've never had the experience of being part of a wedding's plan and processes! Plus, it was always a childhood dream of mine to be a wedding planner someday ;)

So, the entire month of planning and sourcing for materials was really stressful, especially with the given budget of RM400 only. But it all worked out well. The effort paid off and it was alot of fun!

Here are pictures of my first stint as a church wedding decorator :)

If you are pleased with the outcome, I'm open for hire in the future!

the aisle (of garlands, fake roses, organza ribbons, and real flower petals)

an upclose shot of the aisle (again)

i just love how the garlands droop at the end of the aisle

pretty :)

right after the ceremony (and probably during as well) kids were dismantling the tiny flower bouquets on the aisle and making it their own!

the stage

2 standees made of red roses and white pom poms, creeping ivy leaves and rose petals

The theme of the church wedding was actually WINE & CHAMPAGNE.

Do you think the deco met the theme? Did it give you the vibe of a vineyard wedding?

I really wanted to do a wooden stick arch, cos I thought that would do the trick but we really had no time and the bride and groom wanted something really minimalistic. Anyhows, i'm glad they liked the final outcome.

*******************

Being part of this wedding plan was really a blessing and a testimonial worth sharing.

Because the budget was so tight, we decided that buying real flowers were way cheaper than fake flowers, especially for the stage deco and the flower standees. Getting the professionals, ie. florist to do it would cost even more. So Sam and I, being all confident that we can do it on our own, we went by faith and did the flower arrangements by ourselves the day before the wedding. After several hours of trying around, i realized we couldn't do it. Our arrangements were so unprofessionally looking and odd. The real thing came out so different from how we envisioned it to be.

So being the worry freak I am, I was really stressed out and emo and panicky. Joshua and Tina deserved something nice, and their entire family and relatives knew I was going to be the decorator. I had to live up to the expectations! I was just so down and emo, and at the verge of giving up. I was also partially annoyed with the wedding coordinator cos it was her suggestion in the first place to go DIY and experiment together. Yet, instead of coming at 4pm, she only came at 8pm!

(When i'm stressed up, I get easily annoyed and pissed off, so yeah, maybe she's not entirely at fault, but it was a big deal to me because the mood i was in aggravated the feelings even more)

Anyhow, she came at 8pm, saw the damage done, and tried to fix it. She suggest we go for a break and take our dinner and so we did. Throughout dinner, I was just thinking and talking to God, pleading for a miracle that when we get back after dinner, He would bless me with green fingers and I would be able to turn things around for good. It took courage to admit to Him that I know I'm really not as good as I think I could be. Truth be told, the situation humbled me.

When i came back after dinner, and saw how she salvaged the damage we had done, I felt really guilty for thinking badly of her in the first place. She's always so smiley, even when the situation was stressful, and she's never NOT smiling. I felt so ashamed of myself cos I'm like the total opposite.

HOWEVER, her being equally inexperienced as we are, the arrangement that she did, though nice, was way too tiny to be placed at the stage. And that's when God intervened, literally.

No, He didn't bless me with green fingers for the next 4 hours, but He sent us a florist, in the most unexpected way! It was Good Friday and just after service, this lady saw us working on the flowers and when we told her our problem, she said she could help us fix it, and make the arrangement look a little bigger! After talking to her a little, getting to know her better, she told us she actually owned a florist a long time ago! Praise GOD!!!!

She helped us out so much that she stayed from 9 pm till 12 pm (with her husband and kids) and got both the standees and the bridesmaid bouquets done! And it looked professionally done, because she was a professional! Praise God, again! Because of her help, I could concentrate on doing up the hall and the other decorations, and Sam could finish up his bestman speech. That night, when we finished up everything, I could rest in peace.

God is just so awesome.

I was proud, and He humbled me, for my own good. But He didn't just stop there. He provided a way out for me as well. What amazing love, and abounding grace. All praise be to God, seriously.

It really was an encouragement for me. And that's why I'm sharing this testimony to all.

Our God is real, and always dependable upon. Remember that, always.

2 Corinthians 12:9 -> "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

The good news

I don't know where to begin
to tell you of the thoughts
that have been playing in my mind

For the past 3 weeks, God felt so real.
I prayed for an answer
but i also struggled and had my fair share of doubts if He would ever answer

I spoke to a church elder about it
funny enough, i didn't even realize God's work at hand at that very moment
through that conversation we had

Sometimes, when we seek God for something
the answers aren't always clear.
He has His way of placing certain people in our lives
at certain points of our lives
to reveal certain things to us

And a week after that conversation
my prayer was answered
in a circumstance that had been depicted by that church elder

The feeling of having a prayer answered was just overwhelming
like a moment of success amidst many failed attempts


HE PROVIDED...
Thank you, GOD.

Currently feeling...

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what i long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you, maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So i whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue
Knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as lost to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you, maybe I'm made more faithful...

Faithful by Brooke Fraser

RW's

"Life is a series of problems. Either you are in one now, or you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to get into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character, than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy, than He is in making your life happy.

We need to ask ourselves:
Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism?
Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do."

by Rick Warren

Easter

Redemption. Salvation. The Cross.

Such abounding grace and great love that He should die in exchange for us... for me.

Thank you, Jesus.

" O Lord You've searched me

You know my way

Even when I fail You

I know You love me.

You made a way

When You said that it is done."

Journey

It's a long long journey
Till I know where i'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to You

Many days I've spent driffing on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose; wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter , I know I will cry
And I know I need to be close to You

Sometimes it feels like no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds up in me till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

And help me find my way home to You...

Wheee!

At 10am, i got a suprising message..

"Hi Alicia. This is Zandra from FBC. Chee Seng and I are leading Christmas service and are wondering if u would like to sing backup. Practice is at 7pm tomorrow night at FBC. Let me know asap. Thanks."

I wanted to be in the main worship team, but never had the guts to approach the Worship Coordinator.
And today, i get a message from them..should i be elated?

I am... wheeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! :) ;) ;p


** God, is this You making a way for me? If it is, or even if it isn't, thank you for hearing the tiny whispers of my heart..for creating this "stepping stone" for me so that i can have courage to pursue bigger and greater things for Your glory..though it may only be a part-time thingy (who knows..they may never call me again next time), i hope things would work out for the better and it would become another full-time ministry that i can serve You in..thank you again, for Your faithfulness and blessings..

Through It All

The Lord faithfully provides again.

He turned my shortcomings into something others saw as beauty, as a gift.

He turned my mourning into dancing; and my worries into joy.

He gave me courage, hope and support in so many ways when i least expected it.

I knew.
All i had to do was to trust and wait upon Him, cos no way i was gonna make it on my own.

All credit goes to Him, cos i don't deserve any of it.



O Lord, I wanna sing of Your faithfulness to me!
Thank you for seeing me through it all...

A testimony...

About 3 weeks ago, I was approached by SirLoh to worship lead for BB Sunday. The both of us had done it together last year in 2007 and because there was a wedding just days before it, I got myself a sorethroat, a really bad one (thanks to the yaaaam-sengggg sessions). I was thinking to myself, "How am I gonna sing? with a croaky voice, there's no way I can lead the congregation to genuinely worship God. I'm only going to be a hindrance, a stumbling block". Not forgetting, we had a song presentation too and I had a solo part, and was to be the first to sing. "I am so gonna screw it up!", that was what I kept telling myself. Thankfully, I managed to pull through the 2 services in the Subang church, and even got some good feedback from the congregation! I was thankful, and grateful. Then, came the next challenge. We had to do the same thing for the Pantai church, another 2 services. That week, my voice was at its worst. Nothing I did helped. I managed the first service but when it came to the second service, I gave up. I literally had no voice coming out of me. I got someone to replace me at the very last minute to sing, while I continued to lead the musicians downstage.

And so, when SirLoh approached me to do it again this year, I had second thoughts. Because I didn't think I was good enough to do it all on my own this time. But as usual, he's rather persistent and because of my love for music, I was inclined to say yes. And so, with BB Sunday 2008 just 2 weeks away, practices went underway. We met up almost every night to practice and guess what?? Mr. sorethroat decided to give me a visit, AGAIN! I was so convinced that I was jinxed and that God really didn't want me to worship lead because the cycle repeated itself again. The same time, the same symptoms, the same team of musicians, the same ME, the same situation, the same event! Everyone questioned why I was having sorethroat again, just like last year but yet, they were very encouraging at the same time. Always praying for my throat, my voice and telling me to stay away from late night mamak sessions, cold drinks, kissing (ish,not that I have anyone to kiss at the moment), fried and spicy food,and etc etc etc.. I really didn't want to screw it up this time and disappoint those who entrusted me with this responsibility.

I started taking all sorts of preventive measures. Bought tonnes of hacks sweet (supposedly good for sorethroat), visited the coffee shop every night for some honey lime drink, not singing in the shower too much and too loudly, and of course, not singing aloud while driving. The outcome? It didn't go away! Anyway, came that Sunday morning, D-Day and when I woke up, I croaked! I couldn't sing properly. I had loads of phlegm in my throat and I was trying my utmost best to spit them all out! Tried singing and my sister said "OMG, you're so doomed! How are you gonna worship lead like that?"
I was panicking. It just had to be today that my voice is at its worst again. That was when it crossed my mind. Worship isn't about me singing well, it's about leading others to genuine worship to God. I shouldn't worry because my voice, isn't and shouldn't be the focus, but God is. And I said a prayer. "God, if it's Your will that I have a sorethroat, so be it. Whether it's my croaky voice or not, let me just praise You and worship You with all that I am. But I will wait on You, Lord and hope for a miracle, for a speedy miracle, even if there's only 2 hours left before I get on that stage and lead the congregation for worship. I will trust You, God. Because, that's all I can do. It's too late to rely on my own strength. And I'm sorry I ever did rely on my own efforts. Help me, Lord. Amen."

He did help me. He answered my prayer. My voice wasn't at its best but neither was it at its worst anymore. When I sang those hymns of love to Him, I didn't really think about the sorethroat anymore. It went alright, perhaps well too, according to some of the feedbacks I got from some of the church members. But there was this one incident. An uncle, probably in his 60s, came up to me personally and commented on my voice. He encouraged me to sing more in church, to serve God with my voice..That comment made my day. It made me realize and acknowledge even more how great our God is, that He can so effortlessly turn my predicaments into something that inspires others. But more importantly, that He is a faithful God. To be honest, this experience humbled me a lot. I owe a big gratitude to the entire worship team as well, for backing me up always, having so much faith in me and putting on their best in talent for God. Wouldn't have made it without them.

I am considering to help out in the worship team, but I am still undecided. But one thing I do know, is that singing is something I'm passionate about, although I am definitely not in the league and likes of Alicia Keys, Avril and all the other big names of people with power voices. I love singing, and I wanna sing for Him, for the rest of my days.

" I'll sing to You, Lord, a hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all "