Reunited and it feels so good

The past week and coming week has been all about rekindling friendships..
of friends from high school, and uni mates.

Lum, is the second in the infamous gang, who will be tying the knot in January 2010, in the States. Time flies, and some of the friends who attended the bachelorette party were friends I have not met in 6 years! I would have thought that we would all have changed in many ways, but strangely enough, we behaved just like how we were 6 years ago. And that was good to know. A wild crazy night indeed but well worth it.

Ahh, nostalgia ..

1+2+5

A few years ago, mum got herself a silky terrier puppy for Christmas.

Because she claimed we didn't love her enough.

And so, we called her Grace.

This year, Grace gave mum (and us) 5 early christmas prezzies in the form of her adorable new born babies!

3 Males, 2 Females.

And 10 December 2009 is the date to remember. :)

And all these adorable babies ever do, day and night, is...

suckle suckle suckle, cuddle cuddle cuddle...

What a good life :)

These darlings are the 2nd batch of Grace's pups.

The first three were: Roxy, Rayanne, and Russell.

( Notice how they all started with R?? )

Now, to wait for Miss Becks to come up with 5 royal names like she did for the first 3..

And maybe to be fair, they should all begin with A..

Amanda, Andrea, Andrew, Alex, Anthony.

Or should it be something funkier crazier like..

Salmon, Tuna, Cod, Talapia, Dory

Salt, Pepper, Sugar, Vinegar, Oil

Obviously, naming your pets (and children in the future) can be such a daunting task.

It has got to be right. Cos there's no turning back.

U Blonde??

This goes out to all the blondes I know, or even the blondes out there! Enjoy! (",)

********
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home. The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home. The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word. Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable'. The operator shakes his head. How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable'?

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word is big.
She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul."

********

Hahahahaha! Classic and a good one! Reminds me of ruttituttifrutti, my once extremely blonde sista :)
Sometimes, her blonde-ness just amazes me laa..
And yeah, there are some other blonde friends as well..
So here's to all blondes!
May you continue to uplift hearts and bring warm smiles and joy to those around you..and i mean this in a good way of course, no hard feelings/mockery whatsoever.. :)

Cheers!

morbid me

this is going to sound morbid but it's been on my mind for some time now..
when i leave this world, i dont think there will be many at my funeral.
i dont think people will have much to say of whether i made a difference in their life.
it's going to be a pathetic funeral.

Pseudo Perfection

"The perfect one may be imperfect at times."

Got this quote from my dear friend Sharon's FB status. How true indeed and I think it is a very good reminder as well, to all who are in a relationship and yet to be in one.

Sometimes, we find that perfect someone; s/he qualifies for all the important characteristics and traits you have in your Mr.Right / Ms.Right checklist. But is there really such a thing as a perfect man/woman? It's all in the mind, really.

Sometimes also, s/he is so perfect that we start having expectations! And when such expectations are not met, the worm slowly creeps into the relationship and starts eating from the inside, unknowingly. Over time, if this is not resolved, it causes the relationship to crumble, like a rotten apple.

Which brings me back to the reason why this quote is such a good reminder. We need to realize that we're all human, and as humans, we are frail. We ought to be humble enough to acknowledge our weaknesses, and simultaneously, accept the weaknesses of others.

"O God, teach us to be more gracious with others. Teach us to choose love over hate, patience over impatience, and compassion over our own selfish ways. Teach us to be more like You everyday. Amen."

Help me with my change

I realize I do this alot. Whenever i'm at my lowest feeling frustrated, demoralised, weighed down... I would resort to one thing. I will say this one thing. And I say it everytime.
" I think it's my hair..i think i need to cut it / put on a different style / do something to it..whatever.."
Like seriously! I always blame it on the hair, being too long, flat, boring etc and hence, the weighed down feeling. Any remedial action I take to change must always begin with the hair. I honestly don't know why this obsession with the hair.

Anyway, lately, i've been feeling like crap. My life isn't too bad, I know and I shouldnt be complaining but yet, I'm just so mad at myself. I am living such a horribly lazy lifestyle of no exercise, no massive social gatherings, no studies, no challenge, NO GOAL! Actually, that's wrong. I do have goals! I'm just not doing anything about them. Arrgggghhhhh...

So i've decided. I need to cut my hair. I need to do something different to it, to give me back the self-esteem I need. With great hair, hopefully, comes great confidence. And with great confidence, comes greater enthusiasm to make a change to myself and this horrid lifestyle I'm carrying.

Shaun gave me this offer at my last visit to Trendz.
DYE + CUT + TREATMENT = RM100.
Not sure if the offer still stands but i'll try and ask him next week. I honestly don't know if it's a good deal.. Is it too cheap or expensive? Is it worth it?

** Friends who are reading my blog (i know it's not many) but I would appreciate if you could share your thoughts if it's a worthwhile deal. Cos I'm such a virgin when it comes to hair. All I've ever done to my hair was cut and wash, and a very mild highlight (after much persuasion from Benji, that is). I've never treated it, never permed, never curled, never dyed..so my knowledge is zero in this aspect. I would also need your suggestions on which of the following hairstyles would suit me. Please please pweeeeeaasseee help me out.. here are some pics for your viewing pleasure.

************************

option 1
not a very practical option cos i would need to keep trimming.
but bangs are so hot. it gives one the confidence to carry the protagonistic attitude.
then again, not everyone looks good in bangs la.

option 2
i'm definitely cutting my hair like this.
but should i dye my hair like this? i kinda like the edgy vibe it gives.
maybe instead of blonde, i'll go for maroon?

blonde seems too punk, more for an artist rather than a chemist. lol

but its the blonde than gives the edgy-ness, i think.

feedbacks pleaseee??

option 3
or would i look better dye-ing my entire head like this? rather than just the fringe?

option 4
very interesting. but definitely wont suit me right?
then again, with slight modifications, minus the irregular lengths, etc it could turn out nice..
hmm...

option 5

honestly, i'm really tempted to curl my entire head / hair like this.

but i dare not take the risk cos if it turns out horrid, i'll have to straighten my hair, and i'll end up looking like a mop instead!

but i really really like her look. would it suit me, you think?

************************

All comments would be greatly appreciated, peeps. If the haircut turns out well, all who contributed in one way or another with their wise suggestions would be greatly rewarded with a nice dinner. I promise. When I feel good, I'll be even more generous. =)

Plus, i hope you care enough about me to want to help me get out of this rut i'm in by supporting and guiding me through this 1st step of change i take.

Thanks first and foremost, guys!

Jaded

It's been 1 year and 3 months.
Everything seems to be going ok but that missing-puzzle-piece feeling is still there.
The sense of growth as a person has not been accomplished to a significant extent, and life does not seem to advance...
Have i grown complacent?
It's comfortable, yet it makes me feel jaded.
How can that be? They are opposite sides of a coin!
You know you should leave, yet you know it's not time. Your responsibilities do not permit you to.
You want challenge, yet you won't challenge yourself to make a difference.
You want life to be lived to the fullest, yet you dont live it to the fullest.
"What's wrong?" is all you keep asking, and the answer - you never find.
The quest for the missing-puzzle-piece... continues.

Pixie

im such a cam-whore.. but i realise i suck at cam-whoring.

poses / looks - boring!!

but with practice comes perfection.

Got to work on more funky poses next time.

i shall practice more. :)

And so the season begins

And so the season of engagements and weddings begins..

For the past few months, news of friends and acquaintances getting engaged and hitched have been coming in one after another. It really does get you thinking on what's in store for you (and everyone) in the future. A colleague of mine made this passing comment one day @ lunch saying the younger generations (referring to my generation, of course) are getting married earlier, completing the cyclical phenomenon of the tradition of our forefathers who used to be married at very young ages. Somehow i sense a whole chunk of grammatical error in my previous statement.. anyhow, it sounds nice, so i wont bother fixing it or dwelling too much on the technicalities of the English language.

Where were we? Ahh yes, back to weddings..and engagements..

Yesterday, while browsing through FB @ work, a friend posted her status mentioning rings and dream dresses and etc. The first thing that came to my mind was "omgg, is she getting hitched?" and so i clicked on her profile and i was right. She was getting engaged. And i have to admit, joy and happiness weren't exactly the first thoughts in my mind. Rather, i was in utter shock, questioning the possibility of it happening!

First and foremost, she's younger than me by 2 years and so is her fiance.
(not judging anyone based on age here, but based on the point below, i'm hell suprised that their parents consented to it)

Secondly, i don't think they are both financially stable YET.
(engagements and weddings require massive funding, and unless you're born with a silver spoon, where papi and mami provides EVERYTHING, finances are definitely an issue. In their case, I dont know the family well enough to say for sure that they are well off to do but from what i know, middle class family?)

Anyway, who am i to assume and judge? What matters most is love prevails. And i'm a sucker for happy endings. So i quickly changed my negative worrisome thoughts to happy thoughts. =D

She may not know this, because we're not exactly close friends, but I pray that her relationship and marriage will be a fruitful one and I believe it will be; as i do admire the maturity and passion that both have in view of their relationship and how God lies central in it. And this i know because i occassionally follow her blog. And while reading one of her posts, it reminded me of a lot of things I once had and have in mind, pre- and post- being in a relationship, about relationships, and God. It was a good reminder for me to get my priorities set right again, and to make sure he does too.

I know our time will not come anytime soon, as we still have much to learn and prepare, both together and separately; for marriage, and for fulfilling God's intended purpose for us. We've been stumbling occassionally along the way, with hindrances that keep distracting and discouraging us, but we will stay strong and continue running the race, guided by Him, and encouraged by each other; this my prayer for us. ♥

I like the season of engagements and weddings.
It's the season to be jolly - fa la la la la la la la la! :)

The Raise - Must Read!

"The Raise." Enjoy! :)

The day the Penis asked for a raise...

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off..

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P. Niss

The Response...

Dear P.Niss;

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,

the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completedthe assigned task..

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious- looking bags..

Sincerely,

V. Gina

******************************

LOL!!!

I laughed my ass off reading this. So needed it..after being gloom and lifeless the entire day.

Awesome piece of work! Kudos to whoever wrote it. :)

All you pervs out there, if you like it, hit the LIKE button! hahahaha..

A beautiful discovery

Picture this.
A rainy evening. The skies are dark; the rain pours heavily; the traffic slow moving.
You look into your rear mirror. What do you see?
The reflection of the car headlights visibly clear on the seemingly glossy highway.
As you move forward, while stealing glimpses of the rear mirror, the yellow reflections seem to move along as well, somewhat dancing; graceful and serene in motion.
At that moment, you forget everything and find yourself with a weird sense of peace and comfort. And a smile on your face.
If only that moment; that sight could be captured. It would have been the year's best picture.
That was my beautiful discovery today. =)

The Opposition

Sometimes, it does feel like we are living on other people's lips.
Their words - like poison ivy. flying darts.
The opposition - they judge; they dictate; they slander; they assume!
Such hypocrisy and cowardness; did it stem from envy?
It makes one wonder.. whatever happened to love?

This path I've chosen will not be an easy one.
But I will perservere; with the support and encouragement from loved ones.
And I will chuck you slanderers into my bin of worthless people.
You don't deserve my help.
And this will be the last thing I ever do for you.

Dear Yasmin

Yasmin Ahmad;

We may not have known her personally, but her work has been an inspiring one indeed.
Delivering the sentiments of love and life was her forte and she brought it out well in every work of hers, from movies to adverts.
Though a great talent has been lost, i pray that her legacy continues to inspire lives, both young and old, to achieve their dreams, to live in peace with one another, to respect our racial and social differences, to challenge the norm and make a positive change in this world we live in.
Her honest and heartfelt approach to life should be emulated.
Her stories, should be remembered.
Rest in peace, Yasmin.

=)
sam+ally

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

(1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8)

Of being grateful and gracious for whatever life brings

This is something worth sharing and to be contemplated on...

"When I pick up a person from the street, hungry, I give him a plate of rice, a piece of bread. But a person who is shut out,who feels unwanted, unloved, terrified, the person who has been thrown out of society -- that spiritual poverty is much harder to overcome. Those who are materially poor can be very wonderful people. One evening we went out and we picked up four people from the street. And one of them was in a most terrible condition. I told the Sisters: “You take care of the other three; I will take care of the one who looks worse.” So I did for her all that my love can do. I put her in bed,and there was such a beautiful smile on her face. She took hold of my hand,as she said one word only: “Thank you” -- and she died. I could not helpbut examine my conscience before her. And I asked: “What would I say if I were in her place?“ And my answer was very simple. I would have tried to draw a little attention to myself. I would have said: “I am hungry, I am dying, I am cold, I am in pain, or something. But she gave me much more -- she gave me her grateful love. And she died with a smile on her face. Then there was the man we picked up from the drain, half-eaten by worms and, after we had brought him to the home, he only said, “I have lived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die as an angel, loved and cared for.” Then, after we had removed all the worms from his body, all he said, with a big smile, was: “Sister, I am going home to God” -- and he died. It was so wonderful to see the greatness of that man who could speak like that without blaming anybody, without comparing anything. Like an angel -- this is the greatness of people who are spiritually rich even when they are materially poor."

by Mother Teresa

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is love, enjoy it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrowful, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

This email really got me re-examining my approach to life. More often than not, we brush off forwarded emails such as these without giving it much thought because it's just one of those forwarded emails but when we stop to ponder, even just a little more, the depth of its message surfaces and hits us where it matters most.

When the waves and storms of life hit us, do we handle it with grace? Do we acknowledge that trials and temptations are necessary for our growth? Do we seek to glorify Him through our well-being and even at our worst moments? Do we stand strong in the faith? Or do we falter and seek to draw pity on ourselves, diverting all due attention to ourselves with the wrong intentions?

How do we live a selfless life in such a self-centered world?

How do we see the beauty in ugly?

It's no easy task but it is a challenge to be met.

Land of the Ascending Dragons

Darn, i can't recognise myself.

Hotness :)
Lol.

Mum&Dad with Voon look-a-like.
Man, carbon copy i tell you! ;p

Awesome shot #1 :)

The Choy's Angels trying to re-enact the plants behind us.

We got a kwai-lo stranger to take for us.

These turtle monuments were suppose to be a symbol of longevity and wisdom. Names of scholars were engraved onto the tombstone because they wanted to immortalize their achievement in some sense. Hence, the Vietnamese people believed that if one wanted to score academically, they are to touch the head of these turtles for blessings. Some even go to the extend of putting monetary offerings beside these turtles.
We only found out after the tour guide told us off nicely to NOT sit on them.
Our fault, cos we were too busy taking pictures without listening to him.
LOL.

* More to come in FB *

Numb

I sit here, staring at the wall. My eyes, skimming thru pictures on the wall, yet the mind is absent, just not quite there. There's a myriad of emotions just flying around, like the spirits or ghosts of the Hogwarts School. It's a feeling of numbness, towards everything and everyone. It's weird that I should feel this way, especially now. I thought i had put that feeling past me. The facade of life, again.

I need that time and space again.

T-M-N-T

Introducing..

T H E T M N T

(to the tune of Kung Fu Panda's KungFu Fighting soundtrack)

Woooooooohhh....Hah!

Everybody wants TMNT

We're like the coolest groupie

We are karate-junkies

And pizza is for hi-tea

Wanna improve your kung-fu?

WATER is for you!

waaaaaatttteeeeeerrrrr!

We're lame.

But we're awesome AND we rock! ;)

I miss camp!

Let's drink and be merry!

2 weeks ago, 2 buddies of mine decided we should chill out, ie. have some drinks. It was a rather impromptu plan but heck, impromptu plans are always the best ones! So after Siv picked me up from my place, we headed over to SK to meet up with Sam for some stomach-filling solids. After treating ourselves to a hearty meal and some lengthy conversation, we headed over to Siv's place for some drinks, well, Absolut Peach and Bacardi Apple to be exact, two very sweet tasting and smooth yet STRONG alcohol. Personally, I don't really have a good impression of Bacardi because the last time I drank it, I swelled up like an enormous tomato!

Anyway..
15/5/09 - This was to be my first drinking session with the guys. Excited? Yes. Worried? Also yes.

When we got there, we started playing some cards while listening to some gay music on Youtube and as usual, the guys were pouring packs of alcohol mixed with Sprite. The first pack tasted mild. And then, as time passed, we had more packs. 3? Or was it 4? Anyway, it must have been at my third one that Sam said "Hey Ally, you look pink!". In my heart, I knew it. Turning pink, definitely not a good sign for me. It's normal but my body has its way of telling me "Hey,you're about to get into the next phase. Watch out." So being the super self-conscious me, I was so ashamed that I got them to switch the lights off! I really didn't want to turn into a Pink Hulk, no way, at least not in front of the guys. But they won't listen! And so I had to hid my beautiful (soon to turn ugly) face behind the nearest pillow I could find. Everything started to feel heavy then. My head was heavy, my body refused to sit upright, and my eyes were heavy. Okay, this is a pretty awesome discovery I discovered about myself. When I reach my alcohol threshold, instead of getting high, I get sleepy. Weird but totally cool. Haha. So I started feeling sleepy, and the guys kept telling me to stay awake cos that's how it is and that I've got to fight it, but haha, when I'm sleepy, nothing comes in the way of my sleep..and so, apparently I fell asleep! And I have no recollection at all of how it happened and when exactly.

The next I remember...

I awoke to the sound of an unfamiliar voice, not of Sam's or Siv's.. I pulled the pillow away from my face and lo-behold, I see an unfamiliar face, a stranger, whom I later got acquainted with and now has a name - Karthik. I can't believe I was out / asleep for 1 whole hour! Honestly, I could recall nothing of that one hour "time-out" which I thought was only as short as 15 minutes?

I felt flustered. There's a stranger in the room and I was asleep, like a pig! and I was so oblivious of the things going around me too. It was really really embarrassing. I gathered my face into my clasped hands. There was a dull pain in my head and my stomach felt funny. I know this feeling. It was the same feeling I felt when I was out clubbing in NZ with the Mosaic bunch; just after the horrible tasting shot and some mixtures, and before puking.

Stumbling onto my feet, I got up and headed straight to the toilet. Everything came out. Ewww. Thankfully it was only 1 pass at the washroom.

So I came back in, and the guys were high instead! Siv was dancing non-stop, Sam was listening to more gay music, and Karthik was just looking at me with such suspicious eyes. We had some camwhore session and a good time of laughing together over everything. Too bad the guys weren't high enough to be talking about life cos apparently, when they're really high, they'll talk about life and that's the interesting part! Maybe they were feeling shy that a girl was there too..just maybe..lol.

Good chill out session nonetheless. Apparently I need more drinking training. Haha, we shall see about that!

End of story.

I just wanted to blog about this because it's definitely a memory worth keeping. My memory will soon fail me, and this is the only way, coupled with the pictures we took, for me to remember this by.

Sorry if it was boring.

Sorry if you wasted your time reading it too.

Sorry if the ending wasn't as gempaq as you thought it should have been.

I'm so friggin' apologetic. LOL.

Anyway, drinking reminds me of the Mosaic bunch of friends so much.

I miss Mer's dirty dancing;

I miss Tom's silly faces and cute dancing;

I miss Emma being all sisterly and her cautious ways because she's always the designated driver when everyone else is either too drunk to drive or insanely tipsy to drive;

I miss Charlene's wacky antics of taking videos of people puking or being tipsy; and

I miss Jas's sporting attempts to drink and dance and let loose.

I want to go back. I really do..

Don't know if you guys will ever read this, but I miss you guys!


Friends - are God's way of taking care of us; angels sent to guide and walk with us while we embark on life's journey.
Treasure them, cos sometimes, you do not know what you have till you've lost them.



Cheers!
missy allyot. :)

The good news

I don't know where to begin
to tell you of the thoughts
that have been playing in my mind

For the past 3 weeks, God felt so real.
I prayed for an answer
but i also struggled and had my fair share of doubts if He would ever answer

I spoke to a church elder about it
funny enough, i didn't even realize God's work at hand at that very moment
through that conversation we had

Sometimes, when we seek God for something
the answers aren't always clear.
He has His way of placing certain people in our lives
at certain points of our lives
to reveal certain things to us

And a week after that conversation
my prayer was answered
in a circumstance that had been depicted by that church elder

The feeling of having a prayer answered was just overwhelming
like a moment of success amidst many failed attempts


HE PROVIDED...
Thank you, GOD.

I finally got it.

(",)

Currently feeling...

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what i long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you, maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So i whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue
Knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as lost to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you, maybe I'm made more faithful...

Faithful by Brooke Fraser

RW's

"Life is a series of problems. Either you are in one now, or you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to get into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character, than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy, than He is in making your life happy.

We need to ask ourselves:
Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism?
Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do."

by Rick Warren

Shades of grey

Just when i finished typing an uber long post, and highlighting the entire thing to change the font size, the whole post goes poof! Arghhhh...why did it have to happen?? Anyway, here goes my 2nd attempt. Hopefully there's still a small fragment of recollection. Blogging is such an ass whenever this happens. Urgh.

Okay, so I haven't been blogging for a while and honestly, i do not know what to blog / post about. My life? My daily routine? It all seems too mundane and boring to read or post about. Sometimes, when i'm inspired to write of a certain subject, the words don't come easy. Either that, or i get distracted and lazy. or the whole post goes poof, again! Anyway, enough of nonsensical ramblings.

The past 2 weeks have been a rather contemplative period for me. Sometime early April, i got called for an interview by an established pharmaceutical GLC. Personally, i believe interviews are good experiences which enable one to learn more of his/herself as well as build the necessary skills needed. So i went for the interview, with no expectations whatsoever, but for the experience sake. It was my personal challenge to see how far or well i could go. About a week later, i got a call. I was elated to know that i passed the interview.

So, the next stage was to meet with the Deputy GM (DGM). An appointment was made, but unfortunately, Mr. DGM fell sick and the meeting had to be postponed to the following week. But what followed next was an entire week of silence from the other party. I spent days contemplating if i should initiate contact, or just wait patiently, as they say it is a virtue to be patient. I decided to wait. Told myself, if they really decided to change their decision, there's nothing much i can do anyway. I tried to stop thinking about it.

Then came the following week, this week, and on the busiest day of the week, i get a suprising call. I was not forgotten. An appointment was made and i went for the meeting; again, with no expectations whatsoever. I found out that out of the many interviewed, only 3 were shortlisted, including myself. Great news! There's 2 vacancy, and currently, 1 is confirmed/filled. Well, to cut the long story short, and leave out all the tiny bitsy details of the meeting, the summary is: the job is really mine for the taking if i want it. Yes, i survived the interview. Thanks be to God, for providing me with this opportunity and seeing me through it. :)

ps: Mind you, it feels like a great accomplishment, considering that the Senior Manager, who interviewed me the first time around and whom i spoke to briefly before the meeting with Mr.DGM told me that his interview with Mr.DGM before joining the company was by far his hardest interview.

But here comes the dilemma. Because it is a GLC, there are certain policies and salary schemes which they need to adhere to, which in simple terms means that they can't pay me as much as what i'm currently getting.
BUT the exposure and experience they have to offer is definitely more and higher.

So many questions fill my mind..

"Am i willing to take up this job which offers a lower pay, but will incur more expenses on my side as i may need to move out and rent a place since it's situated all the way in Klang?
Am i working for the money or the knowledge and experience? Should the pay even be an issue?
Am i willing to lose the current work environment i'm in which God has so amazingly blessed me with; the friendly colleagues, and the many other things or gadgets that come along with it?
Am i willing to trade it all for another working experience altogether which may have issues like office politics considering it's such a large corporation?"
and many more....

It all sums down to one point.
Am i willing to take the risk? or am i being too impulsive by taking this risk?

I've spoken and shared with a couple of people and so far, the advices i have been getting are 50:50. Even my own thoughts are 50:50. Next best thing to do, is to consult my family, and see what they think about it. (time to call for another family meeting! hehe)

To those who read my blog,
well, if you want to help me out with this dilemma of mine, by offering some wise insights of yours, please do drop me a comment. I'd appreciate it cos i really need all the help i can get. There are many points to consider but i believe this new job offer will give me the career growth i need. It is also what i've envisioned myself doing, to be part of a department which is literally the think tank of the company! But much is also at stake. This is going to be a life changing decision.. a crossroad in my life.

I believe that God has placed me in my current company for a reason. There must be something that He wants me to do, or to learn. And i pray that with time, i will come to learn and discover what His will for me is. Hearing Him is still something i struggle with but i will not lose hope. I believe God opens up opportunities for us, but ultimately, it is our decision to make; and whether we make them wisely or not. That being said, i also think that not all opportunities are meant to be taken. Some say you should grab every opportunity that comes knocking but should u really do that? I honestly don't know. I wish life wasn't in shades of grey.



Cheers,
miss allylicious.

Easter

Redemption. Salvation. The Cross.

Such abounding grace and great love that He should die in exchange for us... for me.

Thank you, Jesus.

" O Lord You've searched me

You know my way

Even when I fail You

I know You love me.

You made a way

When You said that it is done."

F.E.A.R

Ever since Jan 2009, i've wanted to go to certain places within Malaysia, and Bukit Tabur was one of the places i intended to go in my "to-do" list. However, as days draw closer to the weekend of which i am supposed to go hiking at Bukit Tabur, i can feel the insides of my stomach churning, and my heart is so not at peace, with daunting thoughts and images floating around in my head.

About a week ago, 2 experienced hikers who are doctors by profession fell to their death while hiking at Bukit Tabur. And before this case, there has been numerous cases of accidents and fatalities. However, on a positive note, there are also those who managed and succeeded the climb. Nonetheless, everyone offers the same advice. The Bukit Tabur hike is NOT to be taken lightly. No matter what happens, NEVER let go off the rope.

I'm really having second thoughts about this hike. I don't think i'm physically and emotionally fit to endure whatever lies ahead in this challenge. I know i have a weak upper body strength, and that worries me to the core! How on earth will i manage climbing steep and rocky mountain ridges and vertical drops? Compared to all my previous "adventures", I've never experienced such uneasiness before. Arghhhh!!

The view is going to be awesome. The experience, definitely worthwhile. BUT, the risk, is terribly daunting! I need this excapade, yet..it gives me more stress than it should.

Should i go for it? Or should i trust my instincts which tell me not to go?

urrghhh. i don't know.

O ye of little faith... (speaking to myself)

Say No To EMO

Good timber does not grow easy.

What does not kill you, makes you stronger.

Uncertainty

I'm sorry, Lord, for the times i relied on my own strength, rather than Yours.

I seek You, time and time again, to speak to my heart.

I long to hear Your voice, but my ears and heart still feel ever deaf.

Are You trying to speak to me, but i'm not hearing enough?

Are You trying to call me, but i'm not within calling distance?

Have i drifted that far unknowingly?

Am i seeking and asking with the wrong intentions? It can't be. There's no selfish purpose in merely wanting and longing to be able to have such an intimate relationship with You, to be ascertained of Your voice when You speak to me.

Or am i trying too hard?

I know there's more to life..but why doesn't it feel so?

Where is the joy? Where is the love? Where is the peace?

Why is there passion for Your ministry, yet no joy?

Composition in BM

Inilah percubaan pertamaku untuk berkias dalam bahasa. :)

Inilah kisahku
Kaulah ilhamku
Mainan fikiran yang susah dihiraukan
Luahan perasaan yang kian terpendam

Ku rindu dakapannya
Lirik manisnya yang berbuih di bibir ku
Gelisah hatiku berjumpanya
Namun bagai ubatan bagi luka hatiku

Haruskah ku hirau bisikan hatiku
Yang dambakannya untuk bercinta lagi
Haruskah ku hirau khayalan yang bergenang dalam mindaku
Yang membuatkan hatiku rindunya lagi

Memori kita yang masih di sisi
Segalanya yang ternyata indah

(c) Alicia Choy.

Estrella Rocks!

Wheeeeeeeee!! :)

I finally got my hands on Estrella's album, after searching high and low for it!

Liyana's an amazing lyricist and composer, and her bandmates are just awesomely talented as well.

It's good to see that our local music industry has so much talent, and that it's finally picking up.

Not to mention, these upcoming artists are from the jazz indie genre! My favourite! Oooolaalaaa!

Journey

It's a long long journey
Till I know where i'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to You

Many days I've spent driffing on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose; wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter , I know I will cry
And I know I need to be close to You

Sometimes it feels like no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds up in me till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

And help me find my way home to You...

Of friendship

How do you rekindle a long lost friendship? and the close bond once shared?

How do you remediate a sour friendship?

How do you sustain a friendship?

How do you keep it going strong, despite the waves of life circumstances that keep coming by?

How do you know if the friendship is worth the effort? If it's meant to be, or not? Is it by our own standards? Should it be so?

How do you mend or restore a broken friendship?

How do you stay focus on the course and not drift away? and not lose hope even upon straying from the course?

How do you prevent a friendship from falling like dawn?

How do you resuscitate a dying comafied friendship?

How do you find and reconnect the pieces when the puzzle's been left undone for quite some time?

Immortal Beloved

I've been watching too many romantic movies and crying in every single one.
Made of Honor, Sex and the City..
Is this some sort of an emotional workout?
Cos i'm not too sure if i can lift the weights of my feelings...

Anyway...

This is dedicated to you, my Beloved.. whoever you may be, wherever you are..

Something so beautifully written by Ludwig van Beethoven - Immortal Beloved, the 3rd Letter. Enjoy.

**********************************

"Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once. Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together. Be calm. Love me - today, yesterday.. what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine - Ever mine - Ever ours."

*********************************

When will you write me a love letter?

Love-inspired

I believe that a great piece of composition is often the product of one's reaction towards the experiences and emotions of life. But the other aspect that truly amazes me is how our extreme feelings towards a particular circumstance of life can give rise to great and impressive masterpieces. An example would be Vincent van Gogh. He suffered from mental disorders, financial difficulty and other crazy challenges. Yet, his paintings are now among the world's finest works of art. How such a broken person can create images that brim with beauty or write songs so good that they linger even decades later just doesn't fail to keep me in wonder and amazement.

Taking another famous personality from the Bible, and someone just like van Gogh, the apostle Paul endured significant lifelong struggles as well, but his career for Christ flourished. At one point, he wrote, "We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it." (2 Corinthians 1:8). He was pretty sure the end was near, but something kept him going.
What was it that kept him going? He spelled it out for us when he wrote, "We....learned to rely only on God. We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us."

Sometimes, we think our only consolation is found in a change of circumstances, by eloping to a different environment altogether in hopes of putting the issue aside, hidden and swept under the rug, but God wants to console us right in the midst of our difficult circumstances, and to do it through Christ alone. I know i'm guilty of the former, of trying to take the easy way out sometimes, and not the road less taken. And i know, i need to deal with the issue rather than keep a pretense about it.
I mean, look at Paul. Despite the shitty mess he was in, imprisonment and etc, he was free to go on ministering to others because he was not pinned down by despair or fear. He was liberated, in soul and spirit, despite being imprisoned. I, on the other hand, am very much the opposite.

I just pray that despite the bitterness i sometimes feel about life, that God would use them to mould me, that i too, just like Van Gogh, will be able to produce a work of art out of the circumstances...that shall inspire others; and at the end of the day, reap a good harvest despite the constantly weathered soil.

Caution: Biohazard

DONT MESS WITH ME.
I'M HAZARDOUS.

Snoopy goes sneaking again!

So, the plan was to sneak into the club's swimming pool every Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Unfortunately, it was raining on and off yesterday. And driving all the way to the club seemed like a foolish idea. That's when a brilliant idea came to mind.

****************

Snoopy Ally:

Hey Becks, why dont we just try sneaking into the apartment's pool la? At least, if it rains, we still can walk home.. if we get caught, also no big problem will arise. I dont wanna take the risk drive all the way to the club and then cant swim. It's a waste of petrol. This apartment seems like the better choice if we're gonna do this in the long run.

Snoopy Becks:

Yea Yea!! We do that! No matter what, must swim! Yesterday's plan already tak jadi, WE CANNOT PROCRASTINATE!

Snoopy Ally:

Oi..you sure ah?? i'm scared laa...let's think of a plan first la..what to say etc.. in case we get caught or questioned by the guard.

Snoopy Becks:

Dont worry la..we simply say one unit number la...faster go change..

Snoopy Ally:

Wanna lie also lie la properly..what if the unit we give does not exist??

(its pretty obvious that i'm a detailed person, while Becks is the total opposite!)

****************

Can't really remember every detail of our conversation but after minutes of deliberation, we decided to go ahead with the master plan. We both got changed and the plan went underway. Since the apartment was within walking distance, we decided to walk. It came to this one particular road, with very territorious stray dogs who kept barking at us, trying to sniff our ass the entire time we walked the road. Very VERY traumatizing experience. On our way back, they got even bolder. We could literally feel them breathing down our legs!! Which is why...

"This sneaky stint must never be copied by kids at home. Do only under the supervision of adults."

:)

When we arrived at the guard-house, we pretended to talk to each other and just walk past the guard without giving them direct eye-contact. And, good news is..we made it in...UN-CAUGHT and ALIVE! woohoooo!

First thing we headed straight for, was the mail area, where metal postboxes had each unit number engraved on it. Our lucky winner was unit B-10-05. Now, we have an even better and solid excuse incase we get caught. Awesomeness!

And to sum this whole exciting experience, Becks and i truly had a great time exercising. So good an exercise that we had cramps at the end of it all! Haha! The slight drizzle did not deter us from completing our 20 laps of the tiny pool as well..BUT a consequence out of this little adventure is Missy Ally is now sick, and down with a running nose that will not stop running.

Let's pray for speedy recovery because i have to back-up sing this Sunday! I seriously have a feeling that i'm jinx when it comes to serving in worship. Sorethroat again! urghhh...

Sneaky Snoopy?

I shall commemorate this day as the day Becks and I successfully sneaked into the club's pool for a swim, considering we're non-members. So hurray to our sneaky and devious plans!

To the dear friend who advised me to exercise more, i thank you. I took the first step of making a change today. Will be sneaking in more often as Becks and I have decided to be sneaky every Monday, Tuesday and Friday.

I'm thinking of badminton on Mondays and Tuesdays though; and swimming on Fridays. I heard the gym has low surveillance too! So that could be part of our sneaky plan when we've become bolder.

But now, i just need to get a racquet. and some shuttlecocks! ;p

Anyway, back to the swim. It was good exercise. Much needed indeed. Can't wait for next week.


* It was good to be able to forget the bitterness within for a moment.

The 4 pillars??

I'm ...

physically tired, despite not being involved in any strainous activities;

emotionally tested, thanks to all the rollercoaster-like circumstances in my life;

educationally demotivated, thanks to the lazy bug and the absence of willpower;

but most importantly... i'm still

spiritually seeking God, and His will for me in my life.

************************

I haven't given up entirely.

I just need to snap out of it.

Can i do it on my own?

Do i need the help of friends? I don't know.

Dependency can sometimes kill.

Dilemma, as usual.

************************

To Emma...

This is Emma and today, marks a significant time of her life.

Yes, she got baptised today! woohooo!

So here's to you, my dear friend.. congratulations again :)

Hope you have a safe flight back to Kiwi-land tomorrow!

Will miss you much, and i hope, God-willing, we meet again end of the year.

Till then, take care and God bless!

*hugggsss*

Look Out Point : Pictures

the entire view of KL from the observation tower

an upclose shot of KL

the view from the restaurant we ate in

me and J.Tiew. ;)