I'm gonna pack it all into a suitcase, lock 'em up and put it aside. I just can't deal with it right now. Not with the right mind. There's just a fine line between the 2 feelings. I've packed and unpacked these feelings a countless times and oh, how I just despise myself for being so fickle-minded and naive; and terribly vulnerable.

I pretend to be strong, but i'm vulnerable inside. I play along with the pretense, acting like nothing ever happened, when in fact, it keeps me up, giving me sleepless nights. I pray for strength and wisdom to cope with it, but everytime God tries to work something in me, I let my stupid emotions get in the way. And i'm back to square one. I don't think i'm dealing with the situation too well. I hate pretending.

O Lord, my heart and my soul, I give You control. Consume me from the inside out, Lord.

Let justice and praise, become my embrace; to love You from the inside out.

Good thing i have all the ISO 14001 work to stress me out.
In a way, i'm proud of myself, that my boss has entrusted me, someone who's only been with the Company for only 6months, with the responsibility of being the Management Representative for the Company, preparing all the necessary documentations needed for the implementation of the environmental management system. It's a tonne of hardwork and googling and sentence construction and editing, but heck, i love it!
I know, it sounds like a bunch of jargons and gibberish nonsense but just bear with me. I'm ranting! arrrrghhhhh!!

My bloody insomnia is back. I couldn't sleep till 4am this morning. Same problem now and that's why i'm posting my 51th post. Not bad. I made it this far. My previous blogs had at most like what, less than 10 posts? Thinking i'm getting the hang of this whole blogging frenzy and its accompanying "addictiveness".

Urggh. I just want to say a little prayer and sleep it off. There's better things to worry about in the world.